Herding Cats

Went to licence the dogs today. Licences went up, apparently. Either that or they changed the due date on me. Rabies shots: $15 per dog. Dog licences: $10 per dog. Dog crate: $40 per dog. Dog toy: $9 per dog. Dog food: so many dollars. Waking up at 3 am every morning to let them out? Priceless. I really do love my dogs in case you were wondering. Except the orange one. I only tolerate her.

This morning I woke up with a mile-long to-do list and lots of energy and motivation to get it done. I have a birthday party to plan, a house to clean, a couch to scavenge, repairs to make, shopping to do…you get the idea.

The problem is, when you have a toddler everything takes three times longer than it otherwise would. I haven’t gotten anything done in a year.

I had to go to the thrift store, the fabric store, the feed store, the city building, the dollar store, the grocery store, and the hardware store. Guess how many places I got to?

The answer is three. I went to the thrift store first. I’m looking for a sectional that isn’t huge or super ugly and I don’t buy new furniture anymore because I have kids and dogs and I learned my lesson early on. The idea was quick-in, quick-out. It took an hour.

And trying to run errands with kids is like trying to herd ally cats .

Part of that was me. I hobby-refinish furniture and it looked like everyone in town decided to get rid of all their old stuff at the same time. It’s a good thing I didn’t have $500 in my pocket because my house is already too full of project furniture as it is. But most of that hour was caused by walking in slow motion and having to touch something every three feet. Normally that’s me too, but this time it was him.

Even getting in and out of the car takes forever. By myself, I can get in and out of the car in under 30 seconds. Most of the time, I remember to shut the door too! With a toddler who is in the “me do it” phase? Ten minutes. Add another two minutes for every sibling under 12 years old. That’s just buckling and unbuckling. The feed store? Lets just say they got their chicks and bunnies in stock this week and I’ll let you imagine the rest. If you’re childless, never ask your parenting friends why they can’t be on time. Time is meaningless to tiny people.

So I decided that one of two things needs to happen. Either I need a nanny one day a week so I can feel like an accomplished human being again or I need to figure out how to buy everything online and hire a housekeeper. Because this ain’t working.

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